Niños en funerales

Learning about death at a young age and attending funerals normalizes loss and the sadness that accompanies it. Grief is a natural and shared emotion, and seeing adults grieve and support one another helps children to understand that sadness is a part of life and that it’s okay to feel the way they do. 

Funerals exist so that families can come together, support each other, and share love and memories. Attending the service helps children to understand the value of family support during challenging times and know they’re not alone. It can equip them with the tools to cope with loss and navigate emotions as they grow older.

Deciding whether to bring los niños to a funeral isn’t always a simple decision. You’ll need to consider their age, maturity, and relationship with the person who died. Will they be able to sit still through a long service? Is there a nearby park or play area they can play if they need a break? In Hispanic families, the presence of children at funerals is common, but ultimately, every situation is unique. It’s up to you and your family to decide what’s best. 

If you do decide to bring your child to the funeral and/or wake, think about how to prepare them in advance. Talk to them about what to expect. Describe the setting, the traditions, and the emotions that other people may display. Let them know that they are welcome to approach the body to say goodbye at the wake, but don’t but don’t pressure them to if they don't want to. Let them decide what they’re comfortable with. This can help to reduce anxiety and fear and reassure them that todo va a estar bien.

In many cases, children will have family members their age at a funeral service that can keep them company, and older kids can help with watching over the younger ones. If your child won’t have any other siblings or cousins in attendance at the funeral, you may want to plan for some extra help. Pack a bag with age-appropriate activities and distractions, like coloring books, quiet snacks, a favorite toy, and bottled water or juice to quiet fussy youngsters, and have a friend or family member on call who can pick them up if they get too overwhelmed.

Children aren’t born understanding about life and death. They must be taught, and most of the time a child’s first experience of death is the loss of a loved one. It’s important to address the topic openly and honestly, on a level they can understand based on their age and maturity. Use clear and gentle terms while explaining that death is a natural part of life. Encourage them to ask questions and talk about how they’re feeling, and reassure them that their feelings are okay even if they are complicated or confusing. 

This is also a time to teach los niños about aspects of Hispanic culture and faith that they may not have encountered yet. You can show them how funeral traditions help with grief and provide comfort in a time of loss. It can help children to understand that their loved one’s spirit lives on as their soul transitions from life on earth to vida eterna en el Cielo. Prayer, attending Mass, and connecting with family and friends can provide consuelo en el duelo. 

You can also encourage them to participate in the service in their own way. Having an active role gives them something to focus on and a way to channel their feelings. They can lay a flower on the casket, help set up photographs, or tell a story about their loved one, for example. Learning to view a funeral as a celebration of life, and to embrace their grief as a natural part of life, will help them to navigate future losses as they grow up. 

Latina Funerals & Cremations is here for todo la familia. If you are planning a funeral with us or attending one at our facility, the funeral director can help you make a plan for keeping los niños comfortable as they get their first experience with loss. Reach out to (303) 996-0701 with questions.